


The Story Of Us

by BlueEyedMrsBaelish



Series: James Westerling/Robb Stark [8]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Exes, Exes to Lovers, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Genderswap, Heartbreak, Inspired by Sanders Sides, Inspired by breakup songs, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Thought process in style of Sanders Sides
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-11-23 03:24:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20885345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueEyedMrsBaelish/pseuds/BlueEyedMrsBaelish
Summary: An exes to lovers Robb Stark/James Westerling story, complete with angst, fluff, smut, and beautiful reconciliation.(I'm so bad with summaries, I swear to god this is much better than it sounds. Well, hopefully.)





	1. I Forgot That You Existed

**Author's Note:**

> If you've been reading my other RobbJames fics in this collection, then firstly I want to say thank you!! <3 Secondly, this is an AU storyline. I've wanted to do an exes-to-lovers story for a good few months now, and I figured that these two would be fun to write it with. Speaking of, I need to send a HUGE thank you to my best friend and incredible writing partner, they've read the chapters as I've written them and given me pointers on Robb so I make sure to do him justice. They've also been one of my biggest cheerleaders on this, and I have endless love to send their way.
> 
> One important thing to mention is the thoughts. Both my writing partner and I have recently gotten VERY into the Sanders Sides videos on YouTube (which is essentially Thomas Sanders playing himself and 4+ different aspects of his personality - Logic, Morality, Anxiety, and Creativity - working through issues) and it kind of seeped into the thought process for both Robb and James. There are moments when it seems like they're hearing voices - in a way, yes, but it's somewhat written like his brain having a conversation with itself. Weird, I know. But if you've seen the series it makes much more sense, LOL
> 
> In regards to the fic and chapter titles - yes, they're all Taylor Swift related. Don't judge me! Her music is PERFECT for angsty relationship drama and I've admittedly had a lot of fun finding the titles for all of the chapters. The fic title was a no-brainer.
> 
> Anyway. I hope you enjoy!! Please feel free to leave kudos and comments, I LOVE hearing from all of you :) <3

**James**

"Large coffee and a bear claw for Stacy!"

A large yawn followed by a soft sigh exits James's lips as he waits in line for his latte, fingers moving to tug down on his hoodie. He'd just moved back to the King's Landing area two days ago and had spent all of his time since getting the flat ready enough that he could sleep, pee, shower, and eat without much problem. Today, however, he needed a break and figured the local cafe was as safe a place as any to get one.

"Small Americano for Ros!"

Each new name makes James perk up for a fraction of a second before relaxing again, a soft smile on his lips. This place was a regular stop of his when he was in college to the point that everyone knew his name. It was also where he met -

"Large black coffee and a croissant for Robb!"

A sudden coldness goes through James at the name, silently begging - no, praying it's not that Robb.

_Not him, not now. Please, it's too soon._   
_ It's been 2 years. How is it too soon?_   
_ I'm not ready._

The man who had approached the counter turns, and the moment his ungodly blue eyes meet James's green ones he freezes dead in his tracks.

Thick, auburn curls. Muscular build covered in an expensive, fitted suit complete with a tie and rolled up sleeves. Full lips and eyes a shade of blue that made the ocean pale in comparison.

There was no doubt that James was looking at Robb Stark, his former best friend and… well. His ex-boyfriend.

A solid ten second pass before Robb is forced to move forward as someone shuffles by him, and the smallest flash of something familiar vanishes and turns into a cold, unwavering stare. James understands; he deserves it, if not worse.

"James."

He clears his throat. "Hey, Robb."

James waits for that moment - _the_ moment - that happens when you see the person who you loved more than anything who you're no longer with. Or, in Robb's case, the man who shattered his heart with seemingly no explanation via phone call after 5 years of dating.

It doesn't come, though. Instead, Robb gives a cold nod. "Didn't know you were back in town. Just passing through?"

_Back in town? Does Robb… live here?_

The coldness is deserved, James knows, but it irks him all the same. He cocks an eyebrow and crosses his arms. "Nope. Just moved back, needed a break from moving.” There’s a pause as he scratches at the back of his neck, realizing just how awkward this is. Things with Robb never used to be awkward. “Uh, what about you? I’d have thought you’d have gone back to Winterfell.”

Robb’s expression barely falters. Ah, so he’s shut down again - this is familiar. “Oh.” He nods once. “I never went back, I found a place here.”

“Large pumpkin spice latte for James!”

The order snaps James out of his thought process, and before he can move Robb speaks again. “I have to go. Good luck with whatever you’re doing now, James.”

“Robb -”

He’s standing by himself before he even realizes it, his chest tightening as the realization of it all finally hits him. One hand moves to rest on the counter as the room spins, closing in slowly around him, eyes closing as he tries to center himself, ignoring someone asking if he's alright as he takes a few deep breaths. _I'm fine, sorry, just got a bit lightheaded_ is all he can manage before he grabs his drink and bolts out the door.

James doesn't remember making it home, suddenly he's on his couch with his untouched latte, and only a knock on the door brings him back.

"Jaaaaames? It's Marg!"

Margaery? Why is she -

_Oh. Of course._ She had offered to come over and bring lunch before helping out with unpacking, how could he have forgotten that?

Because he couldn't get his meeting with Robb out of his head. The look in those once warm eyes, now cold and unfeeling. He knew he deserved it, but that didn't make it hurt any less. And the way he tensed when he saw James? How could -

"Earth to James, come in James."

Margaery's voice snaps him out of it and he glances over to see her gazing at him softly, worry clearly etched on her features. "Hey, you alright? You've barely said anything since I arrived."

One glance at the clock tells him that she's been there for half an hour already. Why doesn't he remember that? Is he that lost in thought?

"I…"_ I'm fine. Say you're fine and you can move on. She doesn't need to know_ \- "I saw Robb."

_Goddamnit, James._

The blonde's eyebrows shoot up, eyes widening slightly as she immediately moves next to James's side. "Oh James, honey… How are you holding up?"

"How do you think?"

_Lie. Lie. Lie. Don't tell her all of it, don't make it weird. She's not your therapist._

James sighs, rubbing his face. "It was weird, that's for sure. But I'm glad he's doing well. He's a good guy, he deserves it."

The way Margaery is studying him makes it clear she knows he's hiding something. "Talk to me, James. This isn't a small matter, and I know you. Come on."

_Don't make me say it._ "Marg, I'm fine. I promise. It's the first time seeing him in two years, of course it's weird. I'll be okay."

It's clear Margaery doesn't believe him, and she all but says as much when that long sigh escapes her pursed lips. "Fine. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but you're not fine." She tips her head to the side. "You never did tell me why you broke up with him."

He visibly tenses at that. When he speaks, his voice comes across a tad sharper than he meant to be. "I had my reasons, and I don't owe you anything." Pause. "... Sorry. I'm just… not ready for all of this yet. I wasn't expecting to run into him so soon…"

"Hey, hey. Shhh." Her arms wrap around him and he doesn't fight it, instead resting his face in the crook of her neck. Margaery Tyrell was one of his oldest friends, and he would forever be thankful for her. "I'm sorry, it's not my place. But I promise that it's natural to feel… emotional after seeing an ex, especially one that you loved so deeply."

_Still love, Marg. I still love him. I never fucking stopped and seeing him today reminded me of that._

James sighs and nods in her arms, accepting a small amount of defeat here. Before he can speak, however, Margaery's voice fills his ear again and he's thankful for it. "I have an idea. I'm having a party tomorrow night and you need to come by! My brothers would _love_ to see you and we're gonna have karaoke. It'll be amaaaazing!" She nudges him so she can flash her prettiest smile at him. "It'll be good for you to get out of the house and get your mind off of things, too."

Everything in James's mind is screaming that this is a bad idea, the Starks will almost definitely be there - if not Robb, then Sansa. They were close once - before he broke her brother's heart, that is. But Margaery wouldn't lead him astray, and honestly, the idea of getting utterly fucked up and singing all night sounds heavenly right about now.

"Booze and karaoke? It's like you know me or something." James grins and sits up, nodding once. "Yeah, I'll go. It'll be nice to see your family again."

_And hopefully forget about Robb for at least one evening._

* * *

**Robb**

The cool morning air hits Robb's face as he steps out of the cafe, but he doesn't feel it. He doesn't feel anything.

James is in there. In the cafe. _Their_ cafe.

But they're not on a date, or meeting up for coffee. Like they should be. No, they're passing acquaintances. Former friends. Exes.

Fuck, it still hurt. Why did it hurt?

_Because you never got closure? Because he dumped you via fucking **phone** and never gave you a real reason? Because you bury your feelings and don't actually deal with them, so seeing him just dredged up the past?_

"Shut _up_." He grumbles to himself as he steps into his car, and soon the ache in his heart is replaced with a familiar cold grip.

_You're not affecting me again, James. Not this time._

\--

His phone rings just as Robb is settling down with Dornish takeout, a frustrated groan exiting his lips. There’s a tiny part, the _tiniest_, that hopes to see James’s name when he lifts up the device, and he feels his heart sink just a little when it’s his sister’s face that shows up instead.

_Why would he call you? Be smart, Robb. If you had meant something, you’d still be with him._

He sighs and answers right before it goes to voicemail. “Hey, Sans. Now’s not a good -”

“Bullshit. You’re eating takeout again aren’t you?”

Pause. “Sometimes I swear you set up cameras in here. What’s up?”

“I’m just that good.” Robb snorts and she continues. “So, I just got a text from Loras. Turns out they’re throwing a party tomorrow night and they want us to go. What do you say? Wanna get drunk as hell, pass out at the Tyrell manor and possibly throw up on something Mace Tyrell owns?”

“That was _one time,_ you bitch.” Her laugh is contagious, and he manages to release a chuckle as well. Can’t have her knowing he’s shutting down again. “Yeah, why not? It’ll be good to see Marg and the group.”

There’s another pause before Sansa speaks again. “You okay? You sound a bit… off.”

She always knew. _Always_. “I’m good, Sans. I promise. Just a long day at work, and I have Dornish takeout staring at me right now.”

“Never get in between a wolf and his food, I know. I’ll let you go. See you tomorrow, big bro!”

“See you, Sans.”

He hangs up and turns the phone off, tossing it to the other end of the couch. He doesn’t need a repeat of two years ago - staring at his phone, checking it every five minutes in the hopes that he was living in a nightmare, that his boyfriend hadn’t just broken up with him for seemingly no reason and then left him with the broken pieces of his heart to mend alone. It had easily been one of the worst times in Robb’s life.

_You know it was your fault, right? You needed too much. You weren’t there for him enough. It was you, Robb. Why else would he have left like that? He couldn’t bear to face you and tell you that you fucked up the best thing to ever happen to you._

Gods, those thoughts. They’d plagued him until he’d shut down, and after months of crying over his lost love he never cried over him again. Any feelings turned into a numb coldness, taking over every aspect of his mind and body, allowing him to all but function without feeling. It was better than crying, he told himself.

“It doesn’t matter now.” Robb speaks the words aloud, brooding as he stares at his food. Suddenly, he’s not hungry.

_Just make it until tomorrow, where you can get drunk and forget all about this bullshit._

The possibility that James could be there doesn’t even cross his mind.


	2. I Knew You Were Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rhythmic beat of a muffled base track is the only sound James hears in the small bedroom, apart from his own breathing. Well, and the breathing from the man in bed next to him.
> 
> “Mmm, James?”
> 
> He turns to gaze at the other male, an ache growing in his chest at the sight before him. A sight he had missed so, so much.
> 
> “Yes, Robb?”

**James**

The rhythmic beat of a muffled base track is the only sound James hears in the small bedroom, apart from his own breathing. Well, and the breathing from the man in bed next to him.

_How did this happen, James? How the fuck did you let this happen?? You didn’t even have that much to drink!_

“Mmm, James?”

He turns to gaze at the other male, an ache growing in his chest at the sight before him. A sight he had missed so, so much.

“Yes, Robb?”

\--

_ **Three Hours Earlier** _

James wasn’t completely sure what to expect when he went to Highgarden for the party. He figured he’d be staying overnight - the hour and a half drive wouldn’t be fun after a night of drinking - and he was looking forward to seeing some old friends. There was a slight ache in his stomach at the thought of seeing Sansa - he hoped she didn’t completely hate him, but he wouldn’t be surprised if she did - but he knew that if she really hated him that he could find some company that didn’t.

As soon as he arrives, he’s greeted with a very excited Margaery who ushers him inside. She already has a drink in hand, and the sounds coming from inside the house make it clear that he’s not the first to arrive.

After a round of hellos, introductions, and hugs from familiar faces (no Sansa or Robb, and why does Loras turn slightly pale at the sight of him before giving him a hug?), James finds himself on the couch with a drink in hand, chatting away with Garlan about music and such when he hears Margaery squeal.

“WIFEY! Get the fuck over here and give me a hug!”

His face pales at the realization that Sansa Stark is indeed here. But is it just Sansa, or -

“Robb! Seven hells, it’s been ages!”

_Fuck. Fuck. Just relax, you’ll be fine. Just breathe and don’t make a scene._

One look around makes it obvious that those who know him are watching with curiosity, wondering if they’re about to witness some good relationship drama.

_Keep staring, nothing’s going to happen, he wants to say out loud. We already saw each other, it’s not gonna be -_

“James.”

Gods, just hearing his name in that voice makes him shiver. He looks up, giving the Stark siblings a half smile, somewhat surprised that Sansa hasn’t killed him already. She doesn’t look incredibly thrilled to see him, but she doesn’t walk away, either.

When he speaks, he can practically see his words hang in the hair, heavy and uncomfortable. By the looks of it, everyone else can too.

“Robb, Sansa. Good to see ya!”

“You too.” Sansa speaks this time, giving him a curt nod before turning on her heel to head to the bar. Robb watches him for an extra few seconds before following, and James wants to do nothing more than sink into the sofa cushions.

He’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t even feel Margaery sit next to him, doesn’t notice that the rest of the room has started talking again and - when did music start playing?

“You okay?”

James blinks, turning to look at his friend. She looks… guilty. “Fine. Never better. You knew they were coming?”

She winces at that. “Not until a couple of hours ago. Loras told me he had invited them both… And I told him I invited you.”

“That explains why Loras looked pale when he gave me a hug.” A sigh escapes his lips as he runs a hand through his short hair, downing the rest of his drink. “Whatever, I’ll just… have a few more drinks and hope I don’t wake up with a direwolf ripping out my throat.”

He doesn’t wait for Marg to respond before standing and heading over towards the bar, hoping to whatever gods are listening that the Stark siblings are elsewhere. Apparently they half listen, since Sansa is sitting on a barstool with her legs crossed, eyeing him with an unreadable expression. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t James. YouTuber, musician, breaker of hearts. How’s life?”

_I deserve that, but fuck does it hurt._ “Hey, Sansa. Life’s just peachy, how about you?”

“It’s better now that Robb seems to have moved on from being dumped via telephone by his longtime boyfriend. Funny how you decide to show up right when his life has finally settled down, hmm?”

James sighs, his eyes trained on the shaker as he measures out the ingredients for a margarita. Tequila is probably not the best thing to drink right now, but he wants liquor, not beer.

It’s not until he finishes making the drink that he looks up, a tired expression in his eyes. “You have every right to be mad at me. You both do. But please… Not tonight. I just moved back and…”

“Spare me the sob story. I don’t know why you dumped Robb, and quite frankly I’m not sure I want to know. But stay the fuck away from him, James. You’ve done enough damage to him and I’m not letting you hurt him again.”

He doesn’t answer, instead maintaining eye contact as he nods once and leaves the room. Instead of heading back to the party, however, he goes right outside and to the first large garden, taking a deep breath as the cool evening air wraps around him.

_Get yourself together, James. It’ll be fine. It’ll all be -_

“You following me now? Or did we just have the same idea?”

_Shit. **Shit**._

James turns to see Robb sitting on one of the chairs at the small table setting, smoking a cigarette and watching him with a cool gaze. He’s already being nicer than Sansa was, which comes as a small shock to James.

“Same idea. Sansa made it clear not to bother you, so I wouldn’t have come outside if it wasn’t for a good reason.”

Robb chuckles at that. “Tryin’ to get away for a bit, then? Same. Guess I wasn’t expecting to see my ex twice in two days.” He shrugs and takes a long drag before snuffing out his cigarette, exhaling and turning to finally look at James. “Don’t worry about Sans, either. I can’t be hurt by something I don’t give power to, right?”

There it is. “Robb -”

“No, James. Just… stop.” He takes a deep breath, running his hands over his face before continuing. “I’m not here to hash this out. I’m not here to make you feel better or rekindle anything. I’m here to party with some friends and if you’re here too, fine. But don’t try to be my friend, got it?”

There’s a beat of silence as Robb walks away, but before he can get too far James finds himself speaking loud enough for the other to hear.

“Who said I’m trying to be your friend?”

Robb stops, turning on his heel and turning his gaze to James, eyes darkening slightly. “What was that?”

Either bravery or stupidity causes James to walk over, standing directly in front of the man he fell so hard for all those years ago. “Your ego must be pretty fucking high if you think I’m here to see you. I was told you weren’t coming, and honestly I wish one of us hadn’t. I’m not here to beg for your friendship back; believe it or not, I’m also here to drink and party with friends. So we should probably just accept that this is weird but neither of us are leaving so we don’t ruin the fun for everyone else, yeah?”

He doesn’t know when he moved closer to Robb, but he’s suddenly aware of their proximity. One shift forward would bring their lips together, and considering the way neither have moved, James wonders if this is all a dream and it’s going to happen - that is, until Robb speaks, breath hot on the younger’s lips.

“Seems we’re in agreement then.”

With that he turns away, cheeks flushed and hands shoved in his pockets, leaving James standing alone in the rose garden.

_Why the fuck were you thinking about kissing him? James, chill out, have a drink, and stay the fuck away from Robb Stark for the rest of the evening._

* * *

**Robb**

The warmth from the house makes Robb’s already burning cheeks feel even warmer, and he ducks away to the nearest bathroom to try and calm down. He stares at his reflection, wondering how the fuck he got to this point.

_You could have kissed him. You almost did, and the thing is… you wanted to, Robb. But you can’t. Don’t let yourself go back there, you know what’ll happen if you do._

“I can’t. I won’t. I don’t want him back, I never want him back. What I want is a drink.”

Saying it out loud makes it feel a bit more real, he’s realized. It’s the only thing outside of disassociation that got him through the breakup, and he’s not about to stop now.

_Knock knock._ “Robb? You okay?”

Sansa. Goddamnit, she must have seen him.

Sighing, Robb opens the door to see his sister holding two drinks, handing one over with a slightly worried expression on her face. “You spoke to him, didn’t you?”

Robb nods and Sansa groans. “Gods-- Robb, are you sure that’s a good idea? We both know how much he -”

“Yes, we do, and I don’t need you bringing it up. Just seeing him is a constant reminder of two years ago.”

“Do you want to leave?”

He scoffs. “No, absolutely not. We were civil, we’re not friends, and we’re on the same page that we’re both here to have a good time and not worry about the other. It’s fine.”

Sansa looks unamused. “You don’t look fine, you look -”

“I’m _fine_.” Pause. “I’m sorry. Just… give me a few, yeah? I’ll be right out.”

Soon he’s alone in the bathroom again, drink untouched on the sink. He’s been at the party for - what, half an hour? - and he’s already reeling from it all.

He knew James and Margaery were still friends. He knew that she’d know he was back in town; why wouldn’t she? But for some reason when Sansa told him about the invite to the party, he didn’t even stop to think that maybe James would be invited too? And maybe - just fucking maybe - he just wasn’t ready for that yet.

_It’s time. Don’t make it obvious._

Taking one last look at his reflection, Robb downs the drink he was given in one gulp before heading back out for another drink, then to join his friends. And maybe, just maybe, he could have a good time.

\--

The next couple of hours go a bit better, especially once Robb has a couple of drinks in him to help him unwind. A good amount of the evening goes to people asking James about his time away, and though he doesn’t want to hear it (yes he does) he stays and listens, taking in every detail. From his YouTube channel taking off to singing with _Elton fucking John_, it seemed like James had endless adventures in their time apart (despite the first year, which he doesn’t have much to say about).

_Looks like he’s thriving without you in his life._

The conversation turns into a karaoke party, and _of course_ James is the first one to sing. He starts with - surprising no one - Rocket Man, and soon with another drink in hand he’s gyrating on the microphone stand while singing Faith by George Michael. It’s a distracting display, all of it; James’s voice, his hip movements, the way he makes eye contact with Robb as he sings the opening line.

_“Well I guess it would be nice if I could touch your body; I know not everybody has got a body like you…”_

Robb can feel his cheeks flush a deep red, and though James doesn’t miss a beat, it’s clear that he’s feeling it too. That pent up tension from years of silence.

As Robb leaves the room to refill his glass, the realization hits him like a freight train.

He really, _really_ wants James tonight.

_Robb, don’t. Don’t let your mind go there, please. This won’t end well and you know it._

_I… I can’t help it. I need -_

_You **need** to listen to your brain and ignore your heart for the moment. Don’t. Sleep. With. Him._

As he heads back to the main room with another drink, Robb is determined to keep himself away from James, away from doing something he knows isn’t good for him. As he sips his drink and turns the corner, he’s completely unprepared for the sight in front of him.

James has stripped down on the top to just his undershirt, a thin layer of sweat covering his body as he belts out the lyrics to Take Me To The Pilot by Elton John. The group is cheering and whooping, and even Sansa is smirking behind her drink.

_He’s so goddamn hot… Why is he like this? Why is he **doing** this? Why can’t he just -_

“He definitely knows how to work a crowd, that’s for damn sure.”

The voice snaps Robb out of his trance, turning his head to see Margaery looking up at him with an amused gaze. He chuckles and shakes his head. “Yeah, can’t say he’s not talented.”

She pauses before speaking, and he knows the question before it’s even asked. “How’re you holding up?”

It’s a loaded question, they both know it. “I’m… fine. The booze helps.”

“I’m sorry, Robb. I didn’t know you were coming… I would’ve held off on inviting James -”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. We had a chat, we’re… We’re fine. It’s fine.”

It’s so very clearly not fine, but the song ends and James is looking at Robb like he’s just found his prize.Thankfully, it’s Margaery’s turn to sing, so after giving Robb’s arm a squeeze she heads up to the front of the room. The worst part is that Robb is hard, so hard, and one quick head tilt towards the guest bedrooms has James nodding in agreement.

_You’re really gonna do this, huh?_

_Fuck it, let him fuck you senseless. You deserve it, and he looks so fucking hot. Was he always this hot?_

The moment the door closes James has Robb pressed against it, lips crashing together in a searing kiss. Lips and tongues move together in an almost familiar way, like it hasn’t been two years since they last did this.

Once his lungs are burning the kiss breaks, and the look in James’s eyes matches the heat in his entire body. Every inch of Robb's body is on fire, and between the alcohol and James’s body pressed against his, he allows himself to realize just how desperately he needed this, how much he wants this.

“Wait - fuck, wait.” Robb barely pants out as his shirt hits the floor next to James’s, whining without fully realizing it. “What - what is this?”

James lifts his head, green eyes gazing intently into blue ones. “Unless I misread it, it's us getting this out of our systems before it becomes a bigger issue.”

There’s a pause as Robb tries to focus on how much of a mistake this is going to be, but he finds that he doesn’t seem to care. Right now, all he wants is James on him, inside of him, fucking him senseless. One nod later, he feels lips and teeth on his neck, and as his eyes close he allows himself to get lost in the moment.

It doesn’t take long for them to find the bed, and soon they’re naked and exploring each other like it’s their first time. It isn’t romantic in any way; it’s purely carnal, and as lips and hands touch skin and teeth mark up Robb’s neck, it seems better this way.

Soon the touches turn to gropes, and somehow James manages to have enough of a brain cell to check the end tables for lube, which they have and which Robb would have been more surprised about if he wasn’t on his hands and knees, desperately needing to be filled. It’s all so familiar; fingers gripping the sheets as James preps him, pushing back against lubed up fingers and trying his hardest not to be loud. It feels incredible, but it’s nothing compared to when James finally, _finally_ replaces his fingers with his cock, sinking into Robb with a groan.

They fall into it almost immediately; James slipping a hand in Robb’s hair, tugging him back and slipping his free hand around his throat as he takes him from behind. Robb’s in complete heaven, the pain from the hand in his hair combined with the hand squeezing his throat and the cock - _James’s_ cock - buried deep inside of him making him want to lose himself in this moment forever. He missed this, missed James, missed _everything_.

It’s a few minutes later that they’re collapsed onto the bed, laying next to each other in a state of euphoria and mild shock. The orgasm had easily been one of the best Robb had ever had, and it took everything in him not to curl up next to James and cuddle into him out of an old habit. Thankfully, he regains enough of his mind to know what a bad idea that would be.

“Mmm, James?”

James turns to face him, eyes soft. “Yes, Robb?”

The look he’s given makes his heart ache, but he doesn’t comment on it. “We can’t… We can’t let this happen again.” _I know it hurts, but keep going._ “We needed that release - gods know we did - but we can’t.”

“I agree.” James’s voice is soft, his expression unreadable. “I’ll, uh, I’ll grab a different guest room. Rest up.”

Robb watches as he gets dressed and leaves, and soon he’s naked and alone. He usually would shut his thoughts up by now, but tonight he lets them wander, feeling the different aspects of his mind arguing and giving him a slight headache.

_Go. After. Him. What are you doing?? You love him, chase him!_

_Let him go. You know it’s the best course of action right now, considering you ignored your own resolve and slept with him._

_You **needed** to sleep with him to get closure. But clearly you’re still in love with him, and did you see the way he was looking at you? Please!_

_You may still love him, but you’re still hurting from him dumping you seemingly without cause **two years** ago. Do you really think this is the time for a love declaration? No, you need to sleep and then figure everything out when you awaken._

“Tomorrow. I’ll figure this out tomorrow.”

The sounds of the party have noticeably died down, and soon Robb falls into a restless sleep, dreaming of better days when James was his.


	3. Freedom Ain't Nothing But Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of his phone going off somewhat snaps James out of his daydream. Glancing at the screen, he finds his cheeks flushing at the name while also not being surprised.
> 
> [Robb]: We need to talk about last night.
> 
> Fuck.
> 
> [James]: Yeah, we do. The usual spot, one hour?
> 
> The small three dots appear and disappear a couple of times, and James can’t help but wonder if he should have picked a different spot.
> 
> [Robb]: That’s fine. See you then.

**James**

The events of the night before run through James's head on repeat, and no amount of weed is able to distract him from the painful truth. He could still taste Robb's tongue, feel the moment when they became one, hear the moans and gasps and his own name on the other's lips. It'd be a lie to say that James hadn't fucked around after their breakup, and yet, not a single one of those nights had affected him - or meant anything to him - like this one did.

_You still love him._

Gods, those words. They ran through his head over and over, an unending loop that doesn't ever stop. He knows they're true. But what the fuck can he do about it now? _He’s_ the one who broke up with Robb. _He’s_ the one that ruined his own chance of happiness with the only man he's ever truly loved.

He hadn't been sure what he was aiming for when he had started singing at the party (he was 3, maybe 4 drinks in at the time), but he figured it out once he locked eyes with Robb. Somehow, two years later, he still managed to fluster Robb Stark, and all he wanted was to fuck that beautiful man senseless. So of course, he busts out the song that he knew Robb couldn’t resist (and also happened to be one of his favorite Karaoke songs) - Faith by George Michael.

Next thing James knew, he was following Robb to one of the guest rooms and kissing him senseless against the door, and in that moment any remaining common sense flew out the window. Feeling those lips again after so fucking long had felt like coming home, but he knew that he couldn’t afford to think like that, not now. So he shoved any residual romantic feelings away and instead focused on the purely physical side of things.

James and Robb had definitely never struggled in sexual side of their relationship, and last night was no exception. It all flashes through his mind again, and he realizes that he’s still staring into his coffee mug at home, hands gripping the sides of it tightly as he tries to focus.

_Breathe, James. You’ll make it through this, just try to avoid -_

The sound of his phone going off somewhat snaps James out of his daydream. Glancing at the screen, he finds his cheeks flushing at the name while also not being surprised.

[Robb]: We need to talk about last night.

Fuck.

[James]: Yeah, we do. The usual spot, one hour?

The small three dots appear and disappear a couple of times, and James can’t help but wonder if he should have picked a different spot.

[Robb]: That’s fine. See you then.

James finds himself staring at his phone for a few moments, struggling with the fact that the last texts he had received from Robb before today were unanswered from two years prior. He hadn’t dared open them since the day he’d tearfully ignored them - the day he broke the love of his life's heart via phone call - and reading them for the first time brings causes his heart to ache.

[Robb]: James… Baby, what happened??  
[Robb]: don’t leave it like this. Please.  
[Robb]: I love you  
[Robb]: James please  
[Robb]: what did I do wrong  
[Robb]: … I’m sorry

Choking back a sob, he quickly closes his texting app and shoves his phone into his pocket, taking a few deep breaths to try and center himself.

_You can’t have a breakdown over this now. Not yet. You have to meet Robb soon and figure that shit out **before** you lose it._

He manages to clean up and give himself a good long look before heading out, unsure of what to expect but knowing it isn’t going to be easy.

\--

The small cafe is surprisingly busy for a Sunday afternoon, but James is relieved to find that their usual table is unoccupied. Soon he's sitting with a cup of coffee, stirring in his cream and sugar absentmindedly and biting his lip, trying to figure out what he's even going to say.

_Hey Robb, sorry I broke up with you two years ago. The sex was great, wanna try again? Not sure why you should trust me but -_

"James?"

The familiar voice causes his head to snap up, and he realizes Robb's looking at him with what could be considered concern. How long was he daydreaming?

"Hey, Robb. Sorry, just… in my own head today, I guess."

Robb's mouth opens like he's going to respond before closing it and nodding instead, placing his coat over the back of the chair and sitting down. His hands wrap around his own mug of coffee, making James wonder, again, just how long he was daydreaming.

There's a few moments of silence before either speaks, an uneasiness settling over their table. Their table. They used to go on weekly study dates in college; setting up books or laptops and drinking coffee, never wanting to spend time apart even if their noses were buried in schoolwork. They had often come here for lazy evenings as well, fingers intertwined and gazes loving as they enjoyed an evening out together just the two of them.

Now, they were ex-boyfriends who reunited and hooked up within a two day span, and were now trying to figure out how the fuck to broach the subject.

_I really should have picked a different table._

Robb speaks first, his voice softer than usual. "So… about last night."

James nods. "Yeah… About that." Bites his lip. "I'm sorry, but at the same time… I don't regret it."

"I don't either… I'm just a little confused." Pause. "You show up two years after you dumped me unceremoniously, doe eyed and acting wounded. You didn't even have the decency to read my messages." He looks pained, and James can feel his heart ache as he continues. "Why? What is any of this, James? What do you want?"

James takes a deep breath before speaking, trying to find the words. "I… have no excuse for how things ended between us-"

"How you ended things."

Ouch. "Fair enough. Either way, I don't have an excuse. I wasn't expecting to see you; not here, not at the party. I didn't go in trying to -"

"Cut. The. Bullshit." Robb takes a deep breath and James can see the hurt in those blue eyes despite the neutral facial expression. _I caused that. How could I have caused that?_ "What do you want? We're both living here now and clearly neither of us is leaving. Tell me what you want."

"I want to be… I don't know. Friends?" Robb twitches slightly and James knows that's too much to ask. "Okay, if not friends then friendly acquaintances? Enough that if we're in a group, it won't be weird for everyone else?"

There's a long pause as Robb studies him, and in that moment James takes the chance to study him back. He's hurting, that much James knows. He feels it too, but mainly he knows the man across the table almost as well as he knows himself. He's honestly surprised to see anything there; usually when emotions pop up that Robb doesn't want to deal with, he shuts down. Those beautiful blue eyes show everything, but mainly confusion, doubt, and pain.

_Hard to believe he used to look at me like I was his sun, moon, and stars. I miss that gaze._

"Fine." Robb's voice snaps him out of it. "Friendly acquaintances. But remember that we're not friends, James. You broke all of that the day you ended it."

He deserves it, he knows, but that doesn't make it sting any less. Either way he nods and holds out a hand, his own gaze full of emotion. "Just friendly acquaintances."

A sigh later and Robb shakes his hand, pulling it back and looking away before either can linger. He sighs again and shakes his head, sipping at his coffee as the air around them just barely begins to settle. It's at this point that he stands, still not quite making eye contact with James. "I'm gonna… go. Head out. Thanks for meeting me."

"Of course, Robb. And…"

_What are you gonna say? "Sorry for breaking your heart seemingly without cause"? "Sorry for letting things go too far last night because I'm weak and can't control myself around you"? What could you possibly say that won't complicate things even more?_

"... I'm sorry. For everything."

Robb pauses, nodding once after a few seconds before heading out the door a little too quickly, leaving James alone with his thoughts.

_If you had told him the truth from the beginning, you wouldn't have had to leave him._

They weren't together anymore, and they weren't friends. This much was clear. But if they could be in the same room without ruining every event?

James would take it. He'd take whatever crumbs he was given - any crumbs at all are more than what he deserves.


	4. I Might Be Okay But I'm Not Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the second time in 3 days, Robb Stark leaves his favorite cafe while trying desperately to keep it together.
> 
> He knew meeting up with James would be difficult. He knew it'd hurt to look at those unopened - no, just opened texts again, and it'd fill him with an empty hope when he saw his ex's name appear on the screen. He knew it'd be hard to sit in their spot and watch the other speak with a look that was anything but loving. 
> 
> What he didn't realize was just how hard it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the massive delay in this chapter!!
> 
> I'm not gonna lie... I struggled HARD with this one. Not because I don't love Robb but I usually write WITH him, not AS him, and trying to get into his headspace was quite difficult for me. However, thanks to my wonderful best friend I was able to get things fixed with pacing and his personality and inner thoughts and I'm overall pretty happy with how it turned out.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy! Xx

**Robb**

For the second time in 3 days, Robb Stark leaves his favorite cafe while trying desperately to keep it together.

He knew meeting up with James would be difficult. He knew it'd hurt to look at those unopened - no, _just_ opened texts again, and it'd fill him with an empty hope when he saw his ex's name appear on the screen. He knew it'd be hard to sit in _their_ spot and watch the other speak with a look that was anything but loving.

What he didn't realize was just how hard it would be.

_It's your fault. **You** invited him into the bedroom, knowing that sex with him would complicate this even more than it already is. Why did you do it?_

Truth be told, he didn't know why he did it. Because he wanted to get a sort of closure he never received? Because he was hoping that maybe, just maybe, he could finally let go of James and officially move on?

_That_ was wishful thinking. Robb did in fact know why he did it, but he didn’t want to face the ugly truth.

He was drunk, he was horny, and he let his common sense go right out the window.

It doesn’t take long for Robb to get back to his apartment, yet he doesn’t really remember getting there. He finds himself sitting on his couch, leaning back against it with his eyes closed as he vividly remembers every touch, every kiss, every groan that hit his ear. He can still feel him whenever he sits, a lingering soreness that is not unwelcomed. Looking in the mirror shows the bite marks covering his neck and collarbone; like he needed a visual reminder as well. How could he have slipped up this hard?

The conversation runs through his mind, and he can't help but wonder why he didn't ask the question he's wanted the answer to for two years.

_What was the thing that made you leave, James?_

He didn't _forget_ to ask; it had run through his mind on repeat the entire time they were sitting together. He thinks he knows the answer as to why he didn't ask, but he doesn't want to go there; instead, he tries to focus on the outcome of their conversation.

_Passing acquaintances. This can work, just… don't be alone with him. Be cordial, be nice even, but don't let your gaze linger. **No touching** \- you won't be able to think straight if you do. Don't think on him too long. Remember what happened, how much he hurt you. You can't let that happen again._

Robb sighs, knowing that he knows what he has to do. He tries to forget the apology James gave right before he left, tries to forget the look in his eyes. That was over.

From now on, they were friendly acquaintances, nothing more. And Robb would finally start to move on.

\--

It's a week later when Robb finds himself sitting at a table with friends at the local Dornish restaurant, staring at the menu though not actually reading any of the dishes. No, he's trying to ignore the fact that James is sitting directly across from him, also looking slightly uncomfortable. Margaery, Sansa, Loras, Renly, Garlan, and Leonette chat away about menu options and drinks, either oblivious to or ignoring the discomfort of the exes at the table.

James is the first to try and break the ice. "How've you been, Robb?"

Glancing up from his menu, he gives the blonde a half smile. "Busy. Work keeps me that way during the week." Clears his throat. He should probably make conversation too, after all. "How's, uh, how's the move been?"

"Good! Almost unpacked, thanks to Margy."

Margaery looks over at the mention of her name, blowing James a kiss when he winks at her, then continues speaking. “It’s weird being back, you know?”

“Not really. I never left.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence before Robb sighs, remembering that he’s trying to be civil here. “So, heard you sang with Elton John. What was that like?”

James eyes light up as he begins to tell the story, and the way he animatedly talks while his green eyes shine with excitement is… well, so James. Robb can’t help but smile too as the other babbles on, the sight being a familiar one; whenever James got excited about something, he rambled. Robb had always thought it was the cutest thing.

As the evening goes on, Robb finds himself a little bit more comfortable around James, and he realizes when he gets home that he's starting to feel a bit - not much, but a _bit_ \- better about everything. Maybe they _could_ make this work as friendly acquaintances - James seemed eager to chat with him, and he didn’t give him any specific lingering gazes that he noticed. Maybe...

_Don’t let your guard down. This could work, but you need to be cautious regardless. You know how easy it is to fall under his spell._

It was far too easy, wasn’t it? James had a way of getting into Robb’s head without even trying. So… Robb wouldn’t let him. He’d keep him at an arm’s distance at all times, both figuratively and literally, and if they started to get too close he’d back off. It wasn’t going to be easy, especially if things /did/ go that far, but he’d deal with that if it came down to it.

\--

Two weeks after the dinner with their friends Robb finds himself sitting at his desk at work, playing with a pen absentmindedly while trying to think about anything not James related. This annoyed him a bit; after the first six months of the breakup, Robb had been determined to stop thinking about the man who broke his heart. He'd done a pretty damn good job of it, too - logical reasoning does wonders over crushed hopes and intrusive thoughts in times like these.

That is, until he found himself face to face with James in the cafe over a week ago.

If it had ended there, Robb probably would have been fine. Shaken up, maybe, but overall okay. He'd have focused on what James did to him and pushed him as far back into his mind as possible, and used that info to move on from it.

Of course, that's not what happened. He just had to sleep with him one last time, and it had awoken feelings he'd long pushed away. Feelings of desire and longing for things he shouldn't want anymore; feelings of insecurity and confusion. It fucked with his head and his heart and he hated it.

_Focus, Robb. Focus on the facts of what you know. James may want to be friends, but don't forget that he broke your heart two years ago. Don't forget those months of pain after what he did. It's okay to want to be cordial but you can't let yourself fall back into all of that._

Taking a deep breath, Robb stands and moves to look out the large picture windows behind his desk, the entirety of the city of King's Landing looking so small from his office. It's almost hard to believe that James is one of those tiny specks on the ground, back in the city and in his head. He couldn't avoid him even if he wanted to - their friend group had officially welcomed him back in. At least he knew to be prepared.

The realization hits him out of nowhere - that's what he needs to do. He just needs to mentally prepare whenever he's going to hang out with their friends for James to be there so he's not surprised when he shows up. Being prepared would have helped him not sleep with James at the party, he knows that much.

Robb sits back down at his desk with a small sigh of relief, feeling as though he's finally making progress for the first time since James came back.

\--

The next time Robb and James end up in the same group is at a Tyrell movie night, however Robb is prepared for this one. He’s not surprised when James walks in, and when the movie starts they end up on the same couch with Margaery in the middle (something he has to thank her for at some point). A few glances are spared between them, but neither seem to let them linger and Robb is absolutely fine with that.

They stay late into the night, this time ending up in separate rooms after a friendly goodnight. It's better, he's better. They can do this.

The meetups become a regular occurrence now that the friend group is back together, and every time Robb finds it not as distracting to be around James. He visibly relaxes more and finds smiling is a bit easier. They aren't afraid to sit next to each other, though Robb is sure to avoid touching him, even something as simple as a hug goodbye. He still doesn't quite trust James - or himself, honestly - but they have a cordial dynamic now and he's not about to break that.

Well… that's the plan, anyway.

\--

_ **Three months later** _

The party at Margaery's house had been coming to an end when Robb had gone to the bathroom, taking a few extra minutes to enjoy the quiet. It's not until he heads back to the main room in that he sees James sitting alone on the couch, Xbox controller in hand and a bowl of popcorn in front of him.

"Where… Where is everyone?" He furrows his brow in confusion. "I was gone for 10 minutes."

"They went to bed. I'm not tired so I figured I'd just hang out for a bit." James doesn't look up, eyes glued to the television screen. He motions towards the seat next to him. "Popcorn?"

There's a pause as Robb takes a moment to collect his thoughts. He knows what he _should_ do - he should say goodnight and head to a bedroom. But he's buzzed and a little tired and it's just James, right? It's been months and nothing has happened.

A nod later, he's plopping next to James and grabbing a handful of popcorn, leaning back on his side of the couch. His attention turns to the television. "Isn't this that zombie game you love so much?"

James chuckles at that, eyes still staying forward. "Yep, Left 4 Dead 2. Not ideal for right before bed but fuck it, it's fun as hell."

It doesn't take long for Robb to get into it, the adrenaline from watching horde after horde of zombies try and take out the group of four as they escape the amusement park (complete with an epic concert) coursing through his veins. James _just_ manages to escape, and soon the two are sitting in a quiet living room until James speaks up again.

"Wanna watch a horror movie? They've got every streaming service known to man."

_Head to bed, Robb. You said you wouldn't be alone with him, it's dangerous -_

"Why not? Surprise me, Westerling."

_Westerling? You're using nicknames now?_

James looks just as surprised as he feels, but neither comment on it. Instead, they settle rather quickly on the original Halloween, making small talk as the movie starts.

The conversation lingers here and there before fading as they both become engrossed in the movie. At some point Robb falls asleep, and when he awakens he finds himself fully lying on the couch with a pillow under his head and a blanket covering his body. The living room is empty, the television is off, and morning light is peeking through the windows. He groans and rubs his eyes, realization dawning on him.

He must have fallen asleep, fast asleep, during the movie. And the only person who would have been up to tuck him in was…

Oh gods.

_James_. They hung out last night, didn't they? Alone? Robb can feel the slight panic in his chest, and before he can stop himself he grabs his phone and keys and quietly makes his way to his car. He needs to go home, _now._

_You shouldn't have hung out with him alone, you know that. But… it went alright, didn't it? You didn't touch him, the conversation was friendly and he even made you comfortable so he didn't wake you up. He didn't make a move._

_What if… you can be friends with him? Or, at least, closer to that?_

_What if you could hang out with him again?_

The thoughts run through his mind as he heads into his apartment, quickly heading to the shower to try and get clean so he can at least think a bit more clearly before climbing into his own bed to get a few more hours of sleep. He'd worry more about this when he wakes up, maybe after he talks to Sansa.

That's the plan, anyway. He finds himself lying awake in bed despite desperately wanting to sleep, yet has images of James flashing through his mind. Sighing, he runs a hand over his face and realizes that his brain won’t shut up until he has a plan.

He'd hold off on seeing James again for a bit, knowing he needs to get his head on straight. He'd focus on work - hopefully more successfully than before - and if the opportunity arose to hang out again with James… maybe, just maybe, he'd take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I struggled with this but I think it turned out alright in the end.
> 
> If you like, please leave kudos and comments! I love hearing feedback 🥺❤


	5. Nothing Safe Is Worth The Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigh. "James, if you call me telling me you guys hooked up again or that things went to shit, I /will/ say I told you so. I'm not gonna spare your feelings.”
> 
> “That’s… fair, honestly.”
> 
> There’s another short pause before Eleyna speaks again. "Look... I know you better than you know yourself. You very well might be getting over him, and if you two can just be friends then I'm happy for you. But please be careful, James." He can hear her shift and he knows the next part is gonna hurt. "I love you, but… you already broke his heart once and it almost killed you, I can't imagine what it did to him. Be careful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!
> 
> I'm really happy with how this chapter came out. I was gonna use different songs originally but Red is an album that I s2g was made for this fic and I just... had to. I know it's a bit on the nose but I think/hope it works!
> 
> As always, please feel free to leave feedback & kudos if you're enjoying it! I'm working on chapter 6 right now, hopefully it'll give some insight to into what actually happened 2 years ago. :)

**James**

“... and nothing happened?”

“No, Ella, nothing happened.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the phone, and James can practically see the face his sister is making. “Well, that’s something I guess.”

“Yeah, well, I learned my lesson after the first time.” He pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose and releasing a long sigh. “I really miss him, Ella. Just being relaxed with him, alone… It reminded me of college, even before we dated. I miss it a lot. I miss _him_.”

“I know you do. Trust me, I know. But… and don't hate me for asking this -"

"No promises."

"Shush." Deep breath. "Do you think you could just be friends with him?"

The question smacks him across the face, and he furrows his brow. "What do you mean?"

Eleyna continues, voice soft and careful. "You two were… well, we all half expected you to get married out of college. You barely functioned without him for that first year and now that he's back in your life, you're struggling with your feelings."

The mention of _that year_ makes James flinch, choosing instead to focus on the last sentence. "That doesn't mean anything now, and it's not like I have to worry about feelings getting involved. Sure, I still care for him and all, but Robb clearly moved on and I'm fine with that… because I think I finally am too."

"You've texted me every time you've seen him for months, James."

"Yeah, I'm excited that I might be getting my best friend back. So what? We slept together once and talked, and now we're even a little friendly. It's better this way."

Sigh. "James, if you call me telling me you guys hooked up again or that things went to shit, I _will_ say I told you so. I'm not gonna spare your feelings.”

“That’s… fair, honestly.”

There’s another short pause before she speaks. "Look... I know you better than you know yourself. You very well might be getting over him, and if you two can just be friends then I'm happy for you. But please be careful, James." He can hear her shift and he knows the next part is gonna hurt. "I love you, but… you already broke his heart once and it almost killed you, I can't imagine what it did to him. Be careful."

_Ouch_. Her words hit him like a train and he finds himself trying to fight back tears.

"Yeah… I know. I don't want to hurt him again. I didn't want to in the first place, I just -"

"I know." Her tone is softer. "Maybe… maybe you should tell him."

James shakes his head before remembering she can't see him. "No. Not yet. We're doing well and I don't want to bring up the past. If he wants to know, he'll ask. Or maybe... I'll tell him when things have settled down a bit."

"You really think he's gonna be okay with never knowing why you ended it?"

"I don't know! But I'm not… I can't. Not yet."

Another sigh. "Fine. Just -"

"I know, I know. I'll be careful."

\--

When things between James and Robb had ended, it had taken a toll on James in a way he never could have expected. Not only had he lost the love of his life - by his own doing, no less - he'd lost his best friend.

In a way, that was almost worse.

Robb had been his confidant, his right hand man, his better half. They did everything together, had every memory together, and even before they dated they rarely left each other's side. Going from five years of that to nothing was… well, it had destroyed James.

The mere prospect of having Robb back in his life as a friend was almost too much to hope for and was definitely more than he deserved. An unattainable dream, in a way. Yet when he asked Robb to hang out again after the night at Margaery's he'd received a yes, much to his delight.

The journey to rebuilding their friendship is a slow one, but James doesn’t even think twice about it. He's thankful that Robb is even giving him a chance - gods know he doesn't deserve it.

Each time they see each other, James notices the little changes in the other male as they happen. He's smiling a bit easier, even laughs now, and he's a bit more open to initiating conversation. The elephant in the room is never brought up; it's too soon, James thinks. When the time is right…

The one thing James also notices is Robb's silent refusal to touch him. No hugs, no handshakes, no nudges. Part of it kills him, but the much bigger part knows that it's for the best. They didn't need a repeat of the party, and if this is what Robb needs to be okay with all of this, then James is more than willing to comply.

Having Robb back in his life is… incredible, yet difficult. They were the same, but so very different as well. The more whimsical side of James ached to have that easy friendship back; to be able to joke and tease and nudge until they ended up kissing each other senseless. But in cases like these logic took over, reminding him that those days were long past. He'd hurt Robb, and he'd hurt him badly. This wasn't something some sweet talk could fix.

And yet, James found himself realizing that he'd spend every day for the rest of his life trying to make it right if he had to.

\--

_ **Two Months Later** _

“Another one!”

“Guys, I can’t -”

“Come onnn, you have the entire place in an uproar!”

James chuckles, running a hand over his face. “Give me a few, yeah? I need to catch my breath, I haven’t sang this much in ages.”

Margaery gives him a playful pout before running over to the karaoke booth, Sansa and Daenerys in tow. James laughs and takes a swig from his beer before glancing over to see Robb grinning and shaking his head, watching him with an amused look. “You always were the karaoke king.”

“I want to deny it… But yeah, I’m a bit of a mic hog.” James grins and winks. “I can’t help it, give me a microphone -”

“- and you can't be stopped. We know, this isn't the first karaoke night you've taken over."

James is confident he sees a blush on Robb's cheeks, but that very well could be from the warmth of the bar and the alcohol. Either way, he doesn't dwell on it.

"Look… it's not by choice. Mostly."

The banter comes naturally, something they'd been building up to for months now. It was something James had sorely missed and was quite happy that it seemed to come back naturally.

In the background, Sansa and Margaery sing together and James can't help but catch part of the lyrics, stomach sinking. He knows this song.

_Cause there we are again on that little town street_   
_ You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me_   
_ Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well_

_Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red_   
_ You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed_   
_ And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on a tee ball team_   
_ You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me…_

The words hit hard, each one hurting more than the one before. Godsdamnit, why this one? Of all the Taylor Swift songs, why one of the most painful?

He glances over at Robb who has the same expression on his face, though Robb refuses to look at James. Instead he stands and heads to the bar, and as the girls continue to sing another section sticks out to him.

_Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much_   
_ And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up_   
_ Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well_

He wants to cry, to run. It's too much. It reminds him that he never gave Robb a reason, and he can't help but wonder: did he make Robb wonder this when he left? He hopes not, but knows there's a good chance he did. Gods, what he wouldn't give to run over there and tell him everything.

In time.

The song (finally) ends, and soon everything settles back to normal as Don't Stop Believing starts blasting over the speakers. Robb comes back, giving James a half smile before turning to Dany, leaning in to hear her over the loud music. The tension in the air is palpable, and James silently hopes that the songs stay happy so the unease between them can go away (despite knowing that it’s not that simple.)

A few more songs pass before James is back up, microphone in one hand and a drink in the other as he belts out the lyrics to Rocket Man. He glances into the audience now and then to see Robb still watching him, yet there’s a different look in his eyes. It’s almost unreadable, but it makes James slightly unsettled.

_Please let this all be okay. Please, I need him in my life._

The song ends and he’s about to head down when Margaery motions for him to stay up on stage, running up to him. “Since Sansa and I did Taylor, I’m making you do one too. It’s a good one!”

Margaery is clearly drunk, as she runs back to her seat, and as the music starts James feels the color drain from his face for the second time that night. He’d been expecting to hear We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together or I Knew You Were Trouble… not I Almost Do.

_Abort. Abort. Abort. Too much, too real, too soon._

His anxiety flares up, and everything in him tells him to run. But one look at Margaery’s beaming face and he knows he has no choice.

Glancing over, he sees that Robb’s not in his chair. Maybe he went outside for a smoke? James can only pray that he stays out there long enough as he begins to sing.

_I bet this time of night you're still up_   
_ I bet you're tired from a long hard week_   
_ I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city_   
_ And I bet sometimes you wonder about me_

_And I just wanna tell you_   
_ It takes everything in me not to call you_   
_ And I wish I could run to you._   
_ And I hope you know that every time I don't_   
_ I almost do,_   
_ I almost do..._

Each word is harder to sing, but he pushes through with the hope that he’s not going to have to worry about Robb hearing this. He’s not lucky in that regard, either.

His gaze flickers over the room before finding Robb near the bathrooms, and though he wants to tear his gaze away he’s seemingly unable to, singing directly to the Stark.

_I bet you think I either moved on or hate you_   
_ 'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply_   
_ I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you_   
_ And risk another goodbye_

_And I just wanna tell you_   
_ It takes everything in me not to call you_   
_ And I wish I could run to you_   
_ And I hope you know that every time I don't_   
_ I almost do,_   
_ I almost do_

_Oh, we made quite a mess, babe_   
_ It's probably better off this way_   
_ And I confess babe,_   
_ In my dreams you're touching my face_   
_ And asking me if I wanna try again with you_   
_ And I almost do._

_Too much. Too much. Too much._ The words chant through his head as he watches Robb tear his gaze away, grabbing his drink and a pack of cigarettes and briskly walking outside. He wants to throw down the mic and run after him, tell him that the lyrics are true, so true. He wants him back, fucking hell. He wants it so badly.

However, logic once again takes over (somewhat) and James finishes the song, hanging up the mic and grabbing his coat before heading outside, heart slamming against his chest.

Robb is on the back porch, cigarette and drink in hand as he stares off into the distance. He doesn’t turn when James enters, doesn’t even flinch. There’s a few moments of silence before James speaks.

“Robb, I’m so sorry… I didn’t pick that song. I swear.”

Silence.

James exhales a breath, walking over. “I… Look, I know I fucked up. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything when I left. I’m -”

“Don’t.” Robb’s voice is strained, and James stops in his place about a foot away from the other. “I don’t want to hear it. Not now. You’re two years too late.”

_Fuck_. “Robb…”

“No, James.” He turns, and it’s evident that he’s trying to hold in either tears or an angry explosion of words. “_You_ left. _You’re_ the one who didn’t bother to explain, ignored me for _two years_ and didn’t give a shit. I don’t need to stand here and listen to anything.”

Each word is a stab to the heart, and though James knows Robb is mostly right, he finds himself growing frustrated at the inference that he didn’t care. “Okay, hold on.” Robb moves to walk past him, and before he can stop himself one hand reaches out to grab his wrist… and he immediately knows it’s a mistake.

The air stills as Robb tenses, any emotion that was visible on his face draining away into an almost empty glare. James recognizes that look and immediately releases him, his own expression apologetic. “I’m sorry, I just… Please hear me out.”

It’s fruitless to even try to talk to him, this much he knows. He flashes back to one of the only bad fights they ever had back in college, and he can feel his heart sink in his chest.

Robb had shut down.

\--

**Robb**

Sadness, anger, hurt, longing… and then nothing.

One touch from James had caused Robb to disassociate within a matter of seconds. One moment he’d felt too many emotions, and in the next he couldn’t feel any of them.

How could James still have that much fucking power over him?

Things had been going so well. He’d finally begun to chip away at the walls he had set up, letting himself hang out with James again as long as they didn’t touch. James, thankfully, seemed to understand without words ever being spoken about it, something that Robb had admittedly missed. The seashell still knew him, it would seem.

Though he still had moments of catching himself gazing a bit too long at James or absentmindedly almost reaching out to him, he realized that this was okay, it was all okay. Maybe they really could be friends. It was a thought that had given him more hope than he’d had in years… until tonight.

He’d been fine for most of the evening, even enjoying watching James perform song after song. It felt familiar in a comfortable way, especially having their friends around them to keep him distracted when his thoughts even started to wander. He was safe here, almost happy.

Until that stupid fucking Taylor Swift song the girls decided to sing.

Red had been a guilty pleasure album for Robb for years, especially when he was in college. James had teased him relentlessly until he started enjoying it, though he’d rarely admit that. That album did, however, get played for a good six months after James broke up with him… until he realized it wasn’t helping him move on. He hadn’t - no, _couldn’t_ listen to it ever since.

Hearing All Too Well reminded him of why that was.

He could feel James’s eyes on him and had felt exposed, needing a distraction. He thought he’d be able to push past it after the song ended… and then James just _had_ to sing I Almost Do.

Gods, that fucking song. He’d listened to it alone after the breakup, wondering if James did think about him missed him, longed for him. He was a mess and he preferred to leave those days in the past. So when James went up there and sang the words he knew far too well while _looking at him_, he knew he couldn’t do any of this. He couldn’t be just friends with James, it hurt too much. And he needed to get air.

Of course James had followed him outside, and after touching him _once_, Robb had completely shut down and any emotion in his voice was gone. He couldn’t focus on anything but getting the fuck out of there, and he knew he would need James to leave him alone to do so.

“I need to leave. And you need to leave me alone, James. You owe me after coming back after _two years_ and toying with me again.”

He doesn’t wait for James to reply, instead walking around him so as not to come in contact with him and heading back inside. One glance at Sansa and she’s up and following him, her own expression slightly crumbling when she sees his face. She knows, of course she does. The last time he was like this it almost destroyed their relationship.

“Robb, talk to me. Please.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Don’t shut down on me. I’m begging you, I can’t go through this again.”

“I’m fine, Sansa. See? Fine. I just want to go home.”

A soft sob exits her throat - a frustrated one - and somewhere in Robb’s mind he wishes he could feel anything so he could comfort her. Right now, he barely even registers that he’s driving the vehicle, his body almost on autopilot. He doesn’t really register dropping her off (or any of the things she’s said to him on the car ride back) or making it home. He barely feels the hot water of the shower hitting his face or the cool sheets wrapping around him when he gets into bed.

Too much. It’s all too much, and right now Robb is perfectly content not feeling anything if it means he doesn’t have to think about James.


End file.
